I don’t know about you, but the desire to escape pain is strong inside me. That longing has spanned a spectrum over the years from a desire to numb myself with a Netflix binge all the way to permanently escaping my pain during a very dark season right after my husband left me. When pain and sorrow surges within my heart, the default is to avoid. 

And you know what? In the Bible I see that a desire to avoid pain is pretty normal. Psalm 61:2 says “when my heart is without strength, lead me to a rock that is high above me”. In Psalm 55, David says, “If only I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and find rest.” Paul cried out to the Lord three times to remove the thorn in his flesh (2 Cor 12:8). Even Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, cried out “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me.” (Lk 22:42)

So here’s what I see in Scripture: it is not sinful to ask God for an escape from suffering. It is ok to ask for a way out. It’s ok (and normal!) to not want the painful circumstances you’re in. 

But here’s what I also see in Scripture: sometimes God responds with a no. David didn’t get to avoid the betrayal of his friend and son. Paul’s thorn wasn’t removed. Jesus bowed His will to the will of His Father and willingly walked toward the cross. 

When the answer is no, here’s where we can rest: God is the very strength of your heart (Ps 73:26). His grace will be upon you in your suffering and it will be sufficient (2 Cor 12:9). You will not be alone. Ever (Matt 28:20). His power will be made perfect in your weakness (2 Cor 12:9-10). Brighter days are ahead and our pain has an expiration date (Rev 21:1-7).

So dear weary, wary, over it wife, when you want to escape the hurt– it’s ok to ask God for an out. He is able to do all things. But let’s also remember that He knows best. He has a purpose and plan. He is good and His purposes and plans are good, not harmful. So if He says no, rest yourself in Him, your heart’s Strength. Get up close and tuck yourself under His wings (Ps 91:1-4). He will defend, protect and care for you until the disaster passes (Ps 57:1). Brighter days are ahead. Rest yourself on that promise and press on.