Rewrite Memories

Yesterday we talked about steps to take when hard memories intrude. Sometimes memories creep in that remind me of things I really loved. A park with a favorite scenic walk. A restaurant with a birthday meal I waited to devour every year. A vacation spot that felt like magic. A movie theatre with the comfiest seats and best popcorn. 

If a little ache rises up in you when you experience bittersweet memories and you wish you could see that view or taste that pasta or visit that place again but you’ve not been back since you were with your ex-husband and are fearful of how you might be triggered, I get it! I’ve been there. Sometimes we lay aside places, or even people, because we dread it might bring up hard feelings. 

Can I share something that has helped my daughters and I so much over the years? 

We have made a conscious decision to REWRITE MEMORIES.  We’ve decided to choose brave (on a day where we feel steady), to return to those parks, those restaurants, those relationships, those vacation spots and choose to make new memories there. 

On first visit, sometimes we have to pause and grieve. Lots of tears have been shed along these familiar paths. But in time, and on repeat visits, we start to laugh again. We choose to try again. We choose to write new memories in hard places. This has been one of the most impactful parts of our healing journey. Sometimes we’ve brought friends along if we need a bit of emotional support. Sometimes it doesn’t click or feel good there anymore and that’s ok! We tried again and that’s what matters. 

In this way, we don’t live in denial that previous memories happened in that space. We acknowledge them. We grieve them. But then we make a conscious choice to move forward, trusting God to help us find peace, and sometimes even joy, in hard places.

After all, He is a God who delights in rewriting beauty over ashes…