Dear Wife Who Has Trust Issues

God is not a man that he may lie, or a son of man that he might change his mind…
(Num 23:19)

I struggle with these words. 

You see, I have trust issues. I loved a man who lied and changed his mind and It made me question everyone in my life. Are they being honest? Will they leave too?

And when I look to God, it’s nearly impossible not to sling the same questions at him. 
God, are you lying to me? Are you going to walk away too?

Raised fists rarely point toward soft hearts. 

And I want a soft heart so badly. I don’t want to close myself off to God and others because I am afraid. What a miserable and lonely cage that would lock me into. I want a heart that trusts and chooses to love without restraint. 

But how do we get there?  

Dear Wife, we rest ourselves on our unchanging God. We fix our feet on his promises fulfilled—the ones in his Word and the ones in our own lives. We look at his track record and his nature. We ask for his help. I think he loves the prayer, “I believe! Help my unbelief!” It starts by being honest with our doubts and fears. 

Is this easy or a quick fix? Nope. This is hard, heart-level work. But we are not alone in it. We have God’s Spirit within us, and he will lead us to truth and trust. He will be our Counselor and Teacher, reminding us of God’s promises (John 14). 

The outcome of this heart work is fresh trust. And isn’t that what we really want in the end? We want to be women with faces set like flint on our good and unchanging God. We don’t want to be tossed and swayed by emotions and fear. 

So today, let’s do the work. Let’s plant our feet on solid ground. Let’s remember that it’s impossible for God to speak and not act, to promise and not fulfill. Let’s look back on our history and see he’s never failed. Let’s open his Word and dig for promises like buried treasure (Prov 2:1-6). Let’s allow our reasons to trust to be shaped by God rather than our ex-husbands. He is unchanging and worthy of our absolute trust today.