Let’s Talk About…Tears
L E T ’ S T A L K A B O U T . . . T E A R S
I’ve had a trusty sidekick these last six years as I’ve walked through the pain of betrayal, abandonment and unwanted divorce.
Any guesses what it might be?
Tissues. Boxes and boxes of tissues (did you guess right?)
I have cried my way through more boxes of tissues than I could ever count. Like the psalmist in Psalm 42:3, I can say, “My tears have been my food day and night.” And like David in Psalm 13, I have wrestled and had sorrow in my heart every day.
But as I carry this deep sorrow, another reality exists at the same time—I have fields to plow and seed to sow.
(You’re maybe wondering if I’ve bought a farm and turned into a full-time farmer? Alas, I have not.)
What do I mean by fields to plow and seed to sow? I’m talking about the tasks that face me every single morning when I wake up. I don’t know about you, but my to-do list feels unending and quite relentless. I have motherhood, full-time work, meal prep, volunteering at church, keeping my home, friendships to cultivate, and on and on the list goes. These are all things that have to happen. My kids need to eat. I have to wash our clothes. I need to complete my work so I can pay our bills. I don’t know if this resonates, but I have found these daily lists to feel even more overwhelming since my husband walked out of our family.
There is SO MUCH PRESSURE on divorced women to do all the things because we’ve lost our partner, our help and support. Each of us has “fields” that will need to be plowed until we reach heaven. There’s no way around it.
And sometimes it all feels a bit too much, doesn’t it? Some days, the tears fall and fall and I feel so very tired.
The hard reality is that our work doesn’t ease up just because we are weighed down with tears. John Piper said,
“Sowing is simply the work that has to be done even when there are things in life that make us cry. The crops won’t wait while we finish our grief or solve all our problems. If we are going to eat next winter we must get out in the field and sow the seed whether we are crying or not…the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is…”
So what should we do when we can’t stop our tears and the sorrow in our hearts will not let up YET we have a field stretched out ahead of us? I think we find the answer in Psalm 126:5-6 which says,
Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy. Though one goes along weeping, carrying the bag of seed, he will surely come back with shouts of joy, carrying his sheaves.
I recently heard a quote from the Puritans that echoed the words of Psalm 126 and resonated with my own experience. It goes something like this—“we need one hand on the plow and the other hand to wipe our tears.”
Both this quote and Psalm 126 speak of the one who is sowing their field as tears run down their face. We see a picture of one who goes along weeping, carrying a bag of seed. John Piper goes on to say,
“...the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is. I do not feel like it, but I will take my bag of seeds and go out in the fields and do my crying while I do my duty. I will sow in tears…So here’s the lesson: When there are simple, straightforward jobs to be done, and you are full of sadness, and tears are flowing easily, go ahead and do the jobs with tears. Be realistic. Say to your tears: ‘Tears, I feel you. You make me want to quit life. But there is a field to be sown (dishes to be washed, a car to be fixed, and so on). I know you will wet my face several times today, but I have work to do and you will just have to go with me. I intend to take the bag of seeds and sow. If you come along then you will just have to wet the rows.”
Our journey towards heaven will see us walking long stretches where tears run down our faces as we walk. Just this month, I had a total teary breakdown (of the “I can’t do this anymore, this life is too hard, I can’t pull myself together to stop crying” variety).
So when we find ourselves in this place where tears are watering the ground beneath our feet, where should we look?
Today, I would encourage you to look to your side to see WHO is beside you on this journey. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says,
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
These verses are talking about laying down our efforts to save ourselves. Jesus is saying, come to ME, rest in ME, salvation is in ME. I am your Eternal Rest.
If Jesus can bear eternally the weight of my sin, guilt, and shame, then surely he can carry the weight of my tears. He already carried and paid for the biggest burden I could ever carry when he paid for my sin on the cross. If he is strong enough to save me to the uttermost, then he is CERTAINLY strong enough to bear my daily burdens (Psalm 68:19). The Bible says he knows how many hairs are on my head (Luke 12:7), provides daily bread (Matthew 6:11), thinks of me more than the grains of sand on the shores of the earth (Psalm 139:17-18), and catches every single tear I cry (Psalm 56:8). His heart is towards me and his shoulders are broad enough to carry the weight of both my salvation and my tears. What a good and gracious God he is!
Friends, we are NOT in the field alone! As we clean, solo-parent, work, keep our homes, process grief and fold laundry, he is with us! As tears stream down our cheeks, we can look to the side and see Jesus, who has taken up the empty place in the yoke that our husbands have left behind. He is bearing the weight of everything that presses down on us.
As we walk the field with one hand on the plow and one hand wiping the tears away, we can rest knowing he is keeping everything moving forward. He is walking onward and because we are linked to him, his motion keeps us propelled forward. He is with us as a Co-Laborer in our fields. We are not alone in the very real and pressing workload that needs to be done. We are not alone in this overwhelm of deep responsibility. He is bearing the weight of our burdens. Our God is patient and gentle with us as we lift our hand from the plow to wipe away the tears. He will keep the work on track.
And one day, those tears will be exchanged for joy. Deep, unending, unbreakable JOY!
Let’s keep going with Psalm 126 because the very best news is tucked away in the final verse. Remember the one who was sowing in tears? They will reap with joy! Remember the one who went out weeping, carrying seed to sow? We see them returning with an abundant harvest! Tears are never the end of the story in the life of the believer. One day, our labors will end. The yoke will lift from our shoulders, and God himself will bend down and wipe the tears from our eyes. Revelation 21:3-6a says,
“Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away. Then the one seated on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new.” He also said, “Write, because these words are faithful and true.” Then he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.”
Our tears have an expiration date. Let that truth settle over your heart today. Samuel Rutherford said,
“In the world to come we will see Christ’s welcome-home to poor sinners. They come to Him with wet faces, and bleared with tears for sin and the manifold troubles of this life; and Christ meets them in the door, with a fair soft napkin in His hand, and puts up His hand to their faces, and says, “...you shall never weep again.”
And maybe the most stunning and beautiful aspect of all of this is that when we see God wiping away tears in Revelation 21, the believer is dressed in bridal garments! We, the Church, will sit down to the wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19). Our joy will be made complete.
We will each be a Bride again, and on that day our Eternal Bridegroom will wipe the tears from our faces.
So for today, let’s remember—God is with us. He is catching each tear (and goodness they must be valuable to him if he goes so far as to keep them!) He is bearing our burdens on his broad, strong shoulders, and keeping us moving forward. Jesus is our Co-Laborer, taking responsibility for the work in the field ahead of us. And one real and glorious day, our God, our Eternal Bridegroom will wipe the tears from our faces, lift the burdens from our backs and call us to joyful, abundant, eternal, tear-free REST.
