An Invitation To Rest

A MOTHER’S DAY GUEST POST BY KATIE SMART

Friday finally arrived. I was hopeful for some rest and reprieve from the burdens that laid heavy on my mind and body as the primary parent of my two daughters. I had a babysitter for three hours and I was determined to squeeze every minute out of the alone time. I packed up my Bible, journal, and computer and headed to Starbucks for a honey citrus tea and chocolate croissant. I was laser-focused on knocking out a few chapters of my Bible study homework. 

Once in my seat (they really need cozier chairs at Starbucks, am I right?) pangs of grief and fatigue overwhelmed me. Tears stung my eyes, blurring my ability to read any of the book of James. Instead of checking off my spiritual to-do list all I could do was sip my tea, cry and long for rest. Unwanted divorce, solo parenting, betrayal, grief and unseen burdens weighed heavy rendering me exhausted—both physically and spiritually.

Single moms seem to carry a particular burden that often goes unrecognized—that of chronic decision fatigue and a need for rest. This weariness presents itself emotionally, physically and spiritually. This Mother’s Day we can offer true rest to single moms by being the body of Christ, lifting her eyes to Jesus Christ, the only One in whom true rest can be found.  

I want to offer you, the Church, three categories of practical ways you can offer rest to the single moms in your congregation this Sunday. The challenges she faces are complex and won’t disappear with one day of rest. She will carry new burdens in each subsequent season of motherhood. But for now, this Mother’s Day, you can welcome her to true and meaningful rest. 

Emotionally— 

Ask her about her story. Don’t assume why she is single. She likely wants to tell people about how God has shown up for her. Oftentimes, the initial fallout from divorce is public and visible. If years have passed, she may welcome the opportunity to privately share what has been happening- how the Lord has not forsaken her. 

Sincerely recognize how great she is doing and communicate how unbelievably hard her situation is. She needs to hear both. 

Pay special attention to her kids today. Depending on her co-parenting situation, her kids might need additional safe, loving adult friendships- especially from godly brothers in the church. 

Invite her to lunch with your single friends or if you are married, offer to take her out to dinner with you and your spouse to celebrate her. 

Physically—

Sit close to her in service this Sunday, preferably flanked by loving friends on both sides. 

Offer to meet her at the car, unload her kids and bags and help check them in at the nursery desk- exhaustion from single parenting and grief impact the physical body. She will welcome the break. 

Drop off muffins or a breakfast casserole the night before so she can rest in bed longer than normal. 

Pick a night to babysit for her, free of charge, for her to do something for herself. Clean her house after putting the kids to bed. 

Bring her a coffee, water, and a snack on Mother’s Day. She can be blessed by being physically and spiritually nourished. 

Offer to hug her when you greet her at church, she might be touched-out from little hands and pointy elbows that dig into her side, but she is likely craving deep sensory input from trusted sisters in Christ. 

Spiritually-

Send her a voice memo of scripture on Mother’s Day morning that she can listen to while getting ready. 

Offer her the hope of true redemption—not just for her situation to change or get easier. While some single moms have the desire to remarry or reconcile, this outcome may not come to pass. If she is a believer, her story is already redeemed! Christ has taken all her sin and suffering and atoned for it. You can remind her and pray that she would look to Christ and not her circumstances. 

Pray with her and her children at church on Sunday, and maybe even write out your prayer on a bulletin for her to keep for the future. 

If you are a church leader, pray from the pulpit for the single moms in your congregation, it will bless her if her overseers remember her along with the other moms present on Sunday. 

I ended my night at Starbucks a few short hours later, with bloodshot eyes and a tear-stained sweater. While I didn’t accomplish anything I set out to do, I did find rest. I found rest in the hymns that played in my earbuds, rest physically through food and tea, and rest through the loving-kindness of our Savior, meeting me there. He reminded me through his Word, that he offers ultimate rest. When I am weary and heavy laden, his yoke is light and easy. I hope this Mother’s Day, you, single mom, and church member can share in this gospel rest together.