Some friends have gone silent and seem to be avoiding me & it hurts. Did this happen to you?

Oh, this is a hard one. Yes this happened to me, and yes it hurt. My heart is with you.

Here’s the thing—I truly believe that your friends are not trying to avoid or ignore you. My guess is they don’t know what to say or do—to the point that it’s paralyzed them and now they feel it’s too late, so they step back to avoid making things worse. 


How do I know? Well, this has been me before, and probably you too?

Instead of checking off my spiritual to-do list all I could do was sip my tea, cry and long for rest. Unwanted divorce, solo parenting, betrayal, grief and unseen burdens weighed heavy rendering me exhausted—both physically and spiritually.

Single moms seem to carry a particular burden that often goes unrecognized—that of chronic decision fatigue and a need for rest. This weariness presents itself emotionally, physically and spiritually. This Mother’s Day we can offer true rest to single moms by being the body of Christ, lifting her eyes to Jesus Christ, the only One in whom true rest can be found.

We feel our weakness so deeply, don’t we? We need someone strong enough to bear the weight of it all. So, let’s pause in the messy in- between to welcome the grace of biblical lament into our lives. As we spend time reflecting on passages of lament in the Bible, we will push our hearts towards hope in the only One strong enough to bear the weight of such immense pain.

And hope sounds pretty good when life shatters, doesn’t it?

You are the God of comfort. You look with compassion on my ruins.My life feels shattered (hopeless, even?)

But you are a God who takes deserts and wastelands and turns them into gardens like Eden. What a promise. 

So here I am—in the brokenness of my life, my story, my marriage, my family—asking you to take all of these shards and splintered pieces and make something beautiful. Use these ashes for your glory and my good. 

Dear Church, let’s align ourselves with the work of Jesus, our Good Shepherd, and PURSUE. Let’s stay near on the heels of the hurting in our midst. Abandoned and divorced women naturally find themselves on the edges & fringes. Let’s bring them in and go about the work of Jesus, offering rest, care, provision, safety—FAITHFUL LOVE!

Your commitment to and participation in the gathered Body of Christ is one of the main avenues of restoration and antidotes to hopelessness in the lives of the afflicted and abandoned wives in your midst.

If you told 5-year-old me about all the loss she would face, would she still grow up with stars in her eyes & hope in her heart?

Every December, I feel my heart and body brace themselves for another blow. As twinkly lights sparkle in windows and the collective mood gets merrier, a sense of dread typically settles over my heart. I struggle to pull the Christmas decorations out of storage with my girls, and tears often fall.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE OVER AT RISEN MOTHERHOOD

In cases of divorce in the church, you and I will likely be in the position of the 99% looking on. How should we handle that? DEAR CHURCH, help and embrace her. Love from where you are.

Her marriage withered, and her vows faded, but the word of her God remains forever. It is vitally important for you to remind her that the Word of God is true and trustworthy.

She doesn’t need verses ripped from context or simplified into platitudes. In our culture of “coffee mug verses” she needs to hear a deeper message, a fuller story.

God has set out the most intricate and precious plan for his people so they will never be alone. The local church is God’s good gift to believers—especially lonely ones! His Word speaks about the church in three ways that directly impact the lonely: the church as a family, a body & a building.

Don’t wait for them to take the first steps. Open wide your doors, your homes, your hearts. Welcome them with the welcome of Jesus. Go after the one who is cast down and cast aside.

I sat alone in an elementary school parking lot on Mother’s Day. 

I didn’t get a break, flowers, or a nice breakfast in bed. What I did receive, was a loving text from my small group leader, lamenting with me over the state of my marriage. She gave me what my soul was actually craving. She offered me gospel truth and encouragement.  She reminded me that Mother’s Day is first, and foremost, the Lord’s Day. I am commanded to rejoice in Jesus, regardless if someone else is celebrating me. This wise saint helped me look upward to the cross and take my eyes off myself. 

Here at Restored Home, we are connecting with women every week who are walking the lonely road of marital betrayal, abandonment and unwanted divorce. This community is growing—and that is both devastating and beautiful.Many of these women are also single moms. They are parenting alone in really difficult circumstances. And this Mother’s Day, we want to bless them. But we need your help!

Tears burned my eyes. I was angry and desperately sad. How does a father abandon his family? It feels like the very worst of crimes. My mind raced as jumbled prayers spilled from my mouth. “Lord, will my daughters survive this breaking of our home? How will they come to understand that you are so very different? Can they separate in their hearts a father who leaves and a Father who stays?”  ** READ THE FULL ARTICLE ON RISEN MOTHERHOOD…

6 years after Mom died, my world completely shattered again as my husband’s unfaithfulness came to light. I walked through horrific betrayal, abandonment and unwanted divorce. My life, my home, and my heart were impossibly broken.

There have been many days over the last 6 years where I have questioned God’s goodness in my Mom’s homegoing. My pain has been so immense as I’ve walked through the darkest days of my own life.

The abandoned wives in your community have experienced the trust-destroying damage of unkept promises. The ground beneath her feet feels shaky as she questions who to trust. The most life-giving gift to give her is the full counsel of Scripture.

Dear Church, we are called to step in towards people. To live incarnationally--the hands and feet of Jesus reaching out to the broken in our midst. We are not to exalt ourselves but rather, humble ourselves before others.

The women in your life who have walked through abandonment and divorce are probably really struggling at this time of year. Let’s choose to walk beside them this holiday season.

Her heart will begin to beat with refreshed hope as the Body calls her to fix her eyes on Jesus and to keep running. As the Church comes beside her to lift her weary arms and help bear the burdens she carries she will begin to heal. Dear Church, you are such a vitally important part of her healing journey.