Dear Wife, Let’s Talk About Holidays
In our last post, we talked about how we have the capacity to hold both devastating grief and growing hope at the same time. Today let’s talk about some of the more practical stuff…
1. The holidays are hard & will never feel the same after betrayal, abandonment and divorce. That’s an obvious statement but, maybe we should just admit it up front?
2. Having less time with our kids during the holidays due to custody agreements is one of the most painful parts of divorce. This isn’t what we signed up for or what we wanted for ourselves or our kids. It’s right & normal to grieve this loss.
3. Instead of focusing on what has changed or what is missing, we can make the intentional choice to choose thankfulness for what we do have. That perspective shift will change everything.
4. Writing new traditions and memories (see our post from last month) is one of the most powerful ways to heal & move forward with grace and authenticity.
5. Don’t isolate yourself. You need community, family, friends, your church family, your kids. It’s tempting to hibernate & nurse wounds. It’s braver to push towards people. Here’s where you could start…” Friend, this time of year is really hard for me now. Will you walk beside me through it?”
6. Fight selfishness. I know you don’t get as much time to shop and prepare. You might not have anyone to buy presents for you anymore. Pray for eyes to see others & to grow in generosity. It will be so much better for your heart.
7. Remember that Jesus really is Emmanuel, God WITH US. You are not alone. God is with you in this painful season. He is near. He is carrying your burdens. He is your provider. He is rejoicing over you with singing.
8. Keep the main things the main thing. Decide what is most important to you during this season and put your energy there. You might have less time & resources, but that doesn’t mean it can’t have deep meaning. We can celebrate Jesus and love others in simple & still meaningful ways.
9. Your people love you & want to spend this season with you. Even if you feel broken, & maybe even a burden, I can guarantee they don’t see it that way. Let them love you.
10. Remember: brighter days are ahead.
(Part 2 of 3)