Memorial Stones

Friday, December 1st, will mark the 7th anniversary of my marriage shattering. I have a tradition of setting my alarm for December 1st with the label: YOU SURVIVED. And it’s true. We have.

Seven years ago this week, I heard that dreaded word: “affair”. My husband was having an affair. There were other words too. Specific, awful, gut-wrenching words. They lingered like poison in my pounding head. I don’t remember if I cried. I do remember my vision going all blurry, in and out. My body felt strange, like I was floating outside of it. It was the worst day of my life.

So how do you mark a day like that? When my alarm went off on that first shattering anniversary in 2017–the words YOU SURVIVED flashing on my phone–I got up and made my way to my quiet time chair. I spent a long time crying as the sun woke up, its rays piercing through my window. As I cried, I prayed and asked God how to hold such a traumatic anniversary. He answered by leading me to Joshua 4. 

After the Israelites crossed over the Jordan River on dry ground, the Lord led them to set up stones to mark the exact place God delivered them into the Promised Land, fulfilling his promise. The stones were to be a reminder of God’s faithfulness for future generations. I suddenly knew the best way to mark our “survival day” was to create our own memorial stones. 

We scavenged for stones and spent time recalling all the acts of faithfulness and care the Lord had worked in our life over the past 365 days. We wrote them on the stones, put them in a jar, and displayed them in our house. 

We have carried out this tradition each subsequent year. We now use a journal instead of stones, but we gather on the evening of December 1st and spend time remembering God’s faithfulness to us. We acknowledge that we have survived because of Him alone. Each entry is a marker for the next generation: God carried us through the very worst and cared for us in the most extravagant ways. He is perfect in faithfulness and compassion.

*Spoiler Alert*
This week will mark 2,555 days, and our “stones” will tell that very same beauty from ashes story as we gather around our table to mark the day.