It happens all the time, doesn’t it? We are going about our business & all of a sudden a memory is triggered. When you’ve walked through abandonment & betrayal at the hands of your spouse, these triggered memories can be intruders, forcing their way to the forefront of your mind.

Let’s join in the sacred work of following abandoned wives with goodness, faithful love and mercy.

And then came what might have been, the very worst part of all. When I look back on those days, my skin crawls and I feel physical ache.

I entered a season my counselor labeled: THE SLOW DRIBBLE.

The initial story of unfaithfulness I heard was being tweaked. Expanded.

What had originally been exposed was only the beginning. It was simply the Truth Door being cracked…

And you are alone here. Alone in the valley of death’s shadow. Enemies lurk and taunt to the left and right. Fear of today, of tomorrow–it crushes in on you from every side. You have found yourself in the midst of deep darkness.

I don’t have a husband. But I have Jesus, my Shepherd.

Is He really enough?

Do I have all that I need?

A rot began to spread. Hatred, anger, disbelief stretched and festered in my heart. Death was still there, waging war against my heart. I had become a prisoner. I was buried in ache and pain. Bitterness was coursing through my veins— a deadly rot was overtaking my heart.

The Gospel is good news. The idea of “father” can be rewritten—even in the darkest situations. God is a perfect Father—point her, point them to Him. He is all they really need.

I wore white. I entered into a sacred covenant. I became part of a new family. I feasted and celebrated a bright future.

I WAS A BRIDE.

I’m no longer her, but a Bride I still am.

Dear Wife, God will perfectly father your children. You don't have to be Mom AND Dad. You are free to be Mom, and only Mom. God—our Everlasting Father—will take care of the rest.

And even if you have the very best Dad in the whole world, he is merely a shadow—an image bearer—of our perfect and everlasting Father. We are fully known and fully loved by the only perfect Father in all the universe.

If you hang around here long, you’re going to hear “it’s about beauty from ashes…” So what does that actually mean and what are we implying?

Dear Church, these abandoned women have likely heard really (really!) difficult no’s from God. And that is a hard place to walk. She is likely very weary. And probably very wary too. In all gentleness and love, remind her of the goodness of God.

Dear wife, be careful what you believe about God in the midst of your suffering.

Endure the no God gives with your eyes set on the eternal joy set before you. This no, like every other God gives, is paving the way for something BETTER.

God feeds those birds. Day in and day out.

And if He is an abundant, watchful Feeder of birds, what must He be for you, His beloved daughter?

He was despised and rejected by men,

a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…

He tears me down on every side so that I am ruined.

He uproots my hope like a tree.

I will say to God, my rock,

“Why have You forgotten me?

Why must I go about

in sorrow…?

Blessed be the Lord, for He has heard the sound of my pleading.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.

Has his faithful love ceased forever?

Is his promise at an end for all generations?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”