Some friends have gone silent and seem to be avoiding me & it hurts. Did this happen to you?

Oh, this is a hard one. Yes this happened to me, and yes it hurt. My heart is with you.

Here’s the thing—I truly believe that your friends are not trying to avoid or ignore you. My guess is they don’t know what to say or do—to the point that it’s paralyzed them and now they feel it’s too late, so they step back to avoid making things worse. 


How do I know? Well, this has been me before, and probably you too?

It’s our first Father’s Day since he left—all of us are feeling crummy & not sure how to handle the day?

This one is so timely! Here’s some of my thoughts based on our experience

Will I be sad forever?

We are answering some questions from our community and I can feel the sorrow and weight behind this one.

Short answer: no. But here’s my why…

Instead of checking off my spiritual to-do list all I could do was sip my tea, cry and long for rest. Unwanted divorce, solo parenting, betrayal, grief and unseen burdens weighed heavy rendering me exhausted—both physically and spiritually.

Single moms seem to carry a particular burden that often goes unrecognized—that of chronic decision fatigue and a need for rest. This weariness presents itself emotionally, physically and spiritually. This Mother’s Day we can offer true rest to single moms by being the body of Christ, lifting her eyes to Jesus Christ, the only One in whom true rest can be found.

We feel our weakness so deeply, don’t we? We need someone strong enough to bear the weight of it all. So, let’s pause in the messy in- between to welcome the grace of biblical lament into our lives. As we spend time reflecting on passages of lament in the Bible, we will push our hearts towards hope in the only One strong enough to bear the weight of such immense pain.

And hope sounds pretty good when life shatters, doesn’t it?

You are the God of comfort. You look with compassion on my ruins.My life feels shattered (hopeless, even?)

But you are a God who takes deserts and wastelands and turns them into gardens like Eden. What a promise. 

So here I am—in the brokenness of my life, my story, my marriage, my family—asking you to take all of these shards and splintered pieces and make something beautiful. Use these ashes for your glory and my good. 

Everything good and beautiful in my life crashed into a thousand pieces. I was brought very low. So low in fact, I lost all hope. Have you been there? I have a feeling maybe you have…

If you told 5-year-old me about all the loss she would face, would she still grow up with stars in her eyes & hope in her heart?

Every December, I feel my heart and body brace themselves for another blow. As twinkly lights sparkle in windows and the collective mood gets merrier, a sense of dread typically settles over my heart. I struggle to pull the Christmas decorations out of storage with my girls, and tears often fall.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE OVER AT RISEN MOTHERHOOD

Friday, December 1st, will mark the 7th anniversary of my marriage shattering. I have a tradition of setting my alarm for December 1st with the label: YOU SURVIVED. And it’s true. We have.

How do you mark such a day?

Have you been cast very low this year? 

Are you reading this from the lowest point in the valley or the bottom of the pit? 

(Hi friend, I’m here too.)

Sometimes I lay awake at night feeling like such a massive burden to the people who love me. I feel so needy all the time. My friends and family have never begrudged helping me—ever. But it’s still a struggle to believe that I’m not a total drain on them. 

Maybe you feel this way too? 

I don’t have all the answers, but here are four things I’ve been pondering…

God is not a man that he might lie, or a son of man that he might change his mind… (Numbers 23:19)

I struggle with these words.

You see, I have trust issues. I loved a man who lied and changed his mind and it made me question everyone in my life.

My unwanted divorce ushered in a deep loneliness. This makes me feel unwanted, bitter, unmotivated and hopeless. Dark thoughts threaten to take over my heart when I lean into my isolation. I don’t always get it right, but here are three places I’ve learned to turn when loneliness hovers…

In one fell swoop, I lost HOME. The rug was pulled from my feet and I felt like a wanderer in the world. My husband had become my home in many ways, and his leaving turned everything upside down.

I sat alone in an elementary school parking lot on Mother’s Day. 

I didn’t get a break, flowers, or a nice breakfast in bed. What I did receive, was a loving text from my small group leader, lamenting with me over the state of my marriage. She gave me what my soul was actually craving. She offered me gospel truth and encouragement.  She reminded me that Mother’s Day is first, and foremost, the Lord’s Day. I am commanded to rejoice in Jesus, regardless if someone else is celebrating me. This wise saint helped me look upward to the cross and take my eyes off myself. 

Ok, here’s the thing. If I read about God, who sees and looks after me, and walk away thinking *I* must be someone pretty incredible and special, my worship is misplaced. 

If the end result of a God who looks on and after us, is a more puffed-up version of ourselves and self-importance, then we are getting things backwards. 

Tears burned my eyes. I was angry and desperately sad. How does a father abandon his family? It feels like the very worst of crimes. My mind raced as jumbled prayers spilled from my mouth. “Lord, will my daughters survive this breaking of our home? How will they come to understand that you are so very different? Can they separate in their hearts a father who leaves and a Father who stays?”  ** READ THE FULL ARTICLE ON RISEN MOTHERHOOD…

6 years after Mom died, my world completely shattered again as my husband’s unfaithfulness came to light. I walked through horrific betrayal, abandonment and unwanted divorce. My life, my home, and my heart were impossibly broken.

There have been many days over the last 6 years where I have questioned God’s goodness in my Mom’s homegoing. My pain has been so immense as I’ve walked through the darkest days of my own life.

I have trust issues. I loved a man who lied & changed his mind and It made me question everyone in my life. Are they being honest? Will they leave too?

And when I look to God, it’s nearly impossible to not sling the same questions at him.